The most epic blog you will ever read.

[Snooky]

Everyone knows blogs are boring, so I'm going to spice mine up by blowing everyday events entirely out of proportion, starting with today.

So I woke up this morning and went over to my homeboy, Chuck Norris. We started UFC wrestling, and he broke every bone in my body with only his index finger, because he's Chuck Norris and he can. After he restored me with his magical Chuck Norris powers, I took a shower, ate some cereal, and went to the bus stop, only to notice that the bus was not there, and the bus stop was vacant! I knew the zombie apocalypse had to be upon us, but turns out, I just missed the bus. Nothing more.
I walked home, knowing that this was all a plot concocted by my arch nemesis, Evil Jesus (Jesus' evil twin). I went home, took my shoes off, took off my backpack, and got on the computer, hoping to skip school entirely. Then someone with a car and a drivers license got the ingenious idea to drive me. Damn them.
School was completely boring. Skip'd.
I was speaking with my friend John (what a coincidence XD), whose nickname, I kid you not, is Mr. Waffledude...but I call him Toast, for when I met him, he was wearing a rather humorous T-shirt that said "Toasted" on the front.
So when the bell rang, I walked toward the bus stop, and all of a sudden Evil Jesus, Hitler, Charles Manson, and Ghandi's step-brother all ran at me with hatchets. I thought I was doomed...but my homeboy, Chuck Norris, jumped in and delivered an orgasmic roundhouse kick that sent all 4 of them flying to opposite ends of the earth. Then Chuck Norris sat me on his shoulder, flew me home, and said something to me that I'll never forget: "if you ever wake me up at 6 in the morning to wrestle with you again, I'll kill you."

[Dracoslythe]

Best blog ever.

[Super Sonic Boom]

Best blog ever.

Is that because it has Chuck Norris in it, or is it because of another reason? LOL

[darkness shadow]

Is that because it has Chuck Norris in it, or is it because of another reason? LOL

chuck norris and other reasons =D

[JetTheHawk]

Everyone knows blogs are boring, so I'm going to spice mine up by blowing everyday events entirely out of proportion, starting with today.

So I woke up this morning and went over to my homeboy, Chuck Norris. We started UFC wrestling, and he broke every bone in my body with only his index finger, because he's Chuck Norris and he can. After he restored me with his magical Chuck Norris powers, I took a shower, ate some cereal, and went to the bus stop, only to notice that the bus was not there, and the bus stop was vacant! I knew the zombie apocalypse had to be upon us, but turns out, I just missed the bus. Nothing more.
I walked home, knowing that this was all a plot concocted by my arch nemesis, Evil Jesus (Jesus' evil twin). I went home, took my shoes off, took off my backpack, and got on the computer, hoping to skip school entirely. Then someone with a car and a drivers license got the ingenious idea to drive me. Damn them.
School was completely boring. Skip'd.
I was speaking with my friend John (what a coincidence XD), whose nickname, I kid you not, is Mr. Waffledude...but I call him Toast, for when I met him, he was wearing a rather humorous T-shirt that said "Toasted" on the front.
So when the bell rang, I walked toward the bus stop, and all of a sudden Evil Jesus, Hitler, Charles Manson, and Ghandi's step-brother all ran at me with hatchets. I thought I was doomed...but my homeboy, Chuck Norris, jumped in and delivered an orgasmic roundhouse kick that sent all 4 of them flying to opposite ends of the earth. Then Chuck Norris sat me on his shoulder, flew me home, and said something to me that I'll never forget: "if you ever wake me up at 6 in the morning to wrestle with you again, I'll kill you."

you missed one thing, you spammed dick rider on skype >:C

Best blog ever

[Super Sonic Boom]

chuck norris and other reasons =D

Why does everyone think CHUCK NORRIS is so amazing...

[blazerh44]

Wow this makes my blog look like crap. Looks like I gotta go spruce mine up a bit

[jkid101094]

Why does everyone think CHUCK NORRIS is so amazing...

I honestly have no clue...

[ChaosDazer]

Because he's bloody orgasmic.

[blazerh44]

Because he's bloody orgasmic.

That's all the proof you need

[ShadowsOfSilver]

Rofl, woooow. Best blog yet.

[Snooky]

Second installment:

So I woke up this morning at 5:30, half an hour before when I usually wake up. I looked out my window and to my sheer horror, I saw...ZOMB-wait, no I didn't. I took a shower and went to school. Nothing more.
So upon arriving to school, my MP3 player decided to be a prick and the battery died. What was I to do in class now? LEARN? I think not. As I walked into my first period class, I noticed the teacher was not there. Good. I laid my head down on the desk and as soon as the bell rang, the teacher walked in. Bad. I slept through most of 1st period anyway.
Nothing happened in second period.
Nothing happened in third either. That's the keyboarding class, how exciting could that get?
In 4th period, we all had to go to the lecture room, presumably to get lectured at. About halfway through the class (it was my English 2 class and we were discussing different types of conflicts in stories), and I don't even have to exaggerate this, the teacher did a backflip onto the desk, pulled out 2 miniguns, and fired the place up. She then turned into Solid Snake and lit a cigarette. She explained to us, "What I just did, that was an example of conflict."
So approximately 2/3's of the way into class, the lunch bell rang. I went to get my lunch, walked outside and IT WAS RAINING LIKE A [insert clever simile here]. I dared not venture to the annex to find any of my friends, for it was clear suicide-rain like this would be an opponent for Chuck Norris himself.
Thankfully, the rain had let up by 5th period. I entered my geometry class and drew 2 panels of my Sonic comic. Progress is slow lately.
After that, I ventured to the annex to attend my biology class, where I fell asleep and did nothing for an hour. Then the bell rang and I left.
I got on the bus and sat behind one of my friends. I inquired as to whether or not he possessed any illegal substances. He said no. He went on to explain that he had been caught smoking and he was grounded. Well...that sucked.
I was walking home from the bus stop about 15 minutes later when everyone fell to the ground and died...THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE WAS UPON US AND I WAS IMMUNE! FUCK YES! I proceeded to loot-wait, that didn't happen either.
So I went home and I might go swimming later.

Update: I didn't go swimming.

[azlj01]

No why didn't you go swimming 
Lol your blog was interesting just by the chuck norris sentence your blog XD
Keep this blog Alive even if it has to become a zombie one.

[Snooky]

No why didn't you go swimming 

I don't remember small details XP

Anyway...
BEST.
NIGHT.
EVAR.

I must write about this. It was amazing.
(no Chuck Norris or any shit like that this entry.)

So I came home from school and chatted with Draco and Nights (<3) and me and Draco webcam chatted. Twas epic. I had a sudden urge to do some drugs, so I went out to search for some. I knocked on a man's door (this man was loaded) but apparently, he was grounded for setting things on fire (which adds a small bit of irony to this story). So I found the rest of the young people out playing football, the american sort. I asked where a certain friend of mine was, and her boyfriend told me (that's right, I didn't get laid. That's not why the night was great). I went to go see her and found her laying under some trees. I thought she was asleep, so I poked her with my foot. She was awake, lawl. I inquired if she was in possession of any...funny stuff :3 She was not. So I pulled out my lighter, and we started burning things. Then she had a brilliant idea. "Let's build a fire pit," she says. I, of course, could only say yes to this ingenious proposal. So we stole some bricks from behind the maintenance building and took some gravel from a nearby construction site. We then proceeded to build the fire pit behind some trees. We put some flammable things in the pit and lit it up. Then, we had an even better idea: we could cook hot dogs in this fire pit.
Best.
Idea.
Evar.
Eventually, her boyfriend arrived (we were waiting for him). We burned more stuff and sat in the field for about an hour and then we decided to start cooking stuff. They went to her house to get food, and I went to my house to get charcoal.
To my dismay, we were out of charcoal.
Luckily though, a man who was moving out that we knew had charcoal. He gave us an almost empty bag that conveniently had just enough charcoal to cook shit with. We started walking back when the ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD decided to follow us. We told them to fuck off (paraphrased) and this one kid decided to ask why I was going (I suppose he grouped the other 2 together) to which I replied, "I helped build the pit, I'm entitled." The friend agreed and the kid left. So we got back with the food and the fuckers decided to spy on us. They left eventually.
Anyway, we started a fire as the sun started to set. We started roasting hot dogs and made small quips using the word "wiener" instead of saying hot dog. Much immature giggling X3
The hours flew by. It was amazing. We ate hot dogs and then we ate ice cream. Some other shit happened but I can't remember.
Anyway, then I came home and blogged this. It was amazing. Best night ever. Epicness all around.
...zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse zombie apocalypse

[xaio]

BEST...BLOG...EVAR!!!!

[Sonicboom238]

Lol I loved it.U should visit Chuck Norris later

[jkid101094]

(that's right, I didn't get laid. That's not why the night was great). 

ROFL, I know why you put that.

[Dracoslythe]

I SO wish I could have been there.  D:

Maybbbee
JUST MAYBBEEEEE

[xaio]

wiener XD i wish i was your real life friend, snooky, it would be EPICALL

[Snooky]

I SO wish I could have been there.  D:

Maybbbee
JUST MAYBBEEEEE

wiener XD i wish i was your real life friend, snooky, it would be EPICALL

Oh, this shall be a good summer...

[LightSuperSonic]

Why does everyone think CHUCK NORRIS is so amazing...

Because he is ? 

[Snooky]

OK, so today kicked insurmountable amounts of ass. Not really. But this blog entry will make you lot think otherwise.

So I woke up this morning 10 minutes before my alarm was set. Irrelevant, because I went back to sleep anyway. I woke up 10 minutes later and stumbled into the bathroom. I pulled back the shower curtain and my homeboy, Chuck Norris, fucking lunged out at me and put a knife to my throat. I almost said "HOLY SHIT," but I was too scared to speak. He put the knife back into his boot and said, "Oops. I thought you were a zombie." I was shocked. The zombie apocalypse had come already? I asked him this and he said, "No." I said "Oh." And he left and I took a shower. I walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus to come. I remember none of this, for I was half asleep.
Upon arriving to school, I took out my MP3 player and started listening to music. I walked around and decided, "I have enough money for breakfast." Though coming out of my mouth (I often think aloud), it sounded more like "fuck, I want some fucking breakfast." I went to the cafeteria and got a chocolate milk, a biscuit (american sort), a yogurt, and a hashbrown, and all this costed only 30 cents. Yeah. I don't know the alt code for the actual cents symbol. So I left and ate my breakfast while wandering the campus, when the ground started shaking and the sky turned red. I knew it couldn't have been Dark Jesus, for Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him, and no one survives a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. I thought of who could be responsible for this earthquake and then it occurred to me: It was Osnic the Hedgehog, the evil Sonic recolor with a crappy backstory. "DAMN YOU OSNIC!" I shouted to the heavens. All of a sudden, the shaking stopped...AND A HUGE FUCKING DRAGON CRAWLED OUT OF THE GROUND AND ATE ME. So did I just sit there and get digested? Hell no. I pulled out a sword and slashed the dragon's stomach open. I jumped out, the dragon roaring and breathing fire in pain, and stabbed the monster in the face. It fell to the ground and died. Hell yes. I kick ass.
Then the bell rang and I went to 1st period. It was boring. I'm gonna fail that class. We don't even learn anything in there, I swear it. Worst. Class. Evar.
Then I went to 2nd period. About halfway through the class, this dude looks at me and says, "You gay cuz?" I swear, you tell one fucking person...anyway I just gave him a blank stare and the question went away. But fuck, everyone at that school's a fucking expert now. Damn it all.
Anyway, 3rd period, there was some speech by Obama. He told us to stay in school. He's a better president than Bush was. So I half listened to the speech and drew dragons and minotaurs and bikers and shit in MS Paint. That minotaur I drew, it was fucking epic. When class was over, I kid you not, that thing was so epic it climbed out of the screen and murdered the entire class with its bloody axe. I ran like Sonic from Silver in 06. God, that game sucked.
So 4th period was boring. We had to go to the lecture room again. Ugh. Then lunch happened. I left and turned my MP3 player back on. I walked around and listened to it until 5th period. And when 5th period came around, I kept listening to it. I just walked in and sat down with the MP3 player on. The teacher didn't care. Twas epic.
So then I went to 6th, still listening to the MP3 player. I listened to that thing through the entire class. I passed this one chick, and she said something sarcastic about my MP3 player. So I did what any well-mannered, easy going person would do. I pulled out a bazooka and unloaded on her.
Then I went home and-...is he watching Big Brother? Who the hell watches Big Brother? Oh God...did he just say "bizzatch?" ...no. Just no. This show fucking sucks. God.

[SuperSonic23]

OK, so today kicked insurmountable amounts of ass. Not really. But this blog entry will make you lot think otherwise.

So I woke up this morning 10 minutes before my alarm was set. Irrelevant, because I went back to sleep anyway. I woke up 10 minutes later and stumbled into the bathroom. I pulled back the shower curtain and my homeboy, Chuck Norris, fucking lunged out at me and put a knife to my throat. I almost said "HOLY SHIT," but I was too scared to speak. He put the knife back into his boot and said, "Oops. I thought you were a zombie." I was shocked. The zombie apocalypse had come already? I asked him this and he said, "No." I said "Oh." And he left and I took a shower. I walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus to come. I remember none of this, for I was half asleep.
Upon arriving to school, I took out my MP3 player and started listening to music. I walked around and decided, "I have enough money for breakfast." Though coming out of my mouth (I often think aloud), it sounded more like "fuck, I want some fucking breakfast." I went to the cafeteria and got a chocolate milk, a biscuit (american sort), a yogurt, and a hashbrown, and all this costed only 30 cents. Yeah. I don't know the alt code for the actual cents symbol. So I left and ate my breakfast while wandering the campus, when the ground started shaking and the sky turned red. I knew it couldn't have been Dark Jesus, for Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him, and no one survives a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. I thought of who could be responsible for this earthquake and then it occurred to me: It was Osnic the Hedgehog, the evil Sonic recolor with a crappy backstory. "DAMN YOU OSNIC!" I shouted to the heavens. All of a sudden, the shaking stopped...AND A HUGE FUCKING DRAGON CRAWLED OUT OF THE GROUND AND ATE ME. So did I just sit there and get digested? Hell no. I pulled out a sword and slashed the dragon's stomach open. I jumped out, the dragon roaring and breathing fire in pain, and stabbed the monster in the face. It fell to the ground and died. Hell yes. I kick ass.
Then the bell rang and I went to 1st period. It was boring. I'm gonna fail that class. We don't even learn anything in there, I swear it. Worst. Class. Evar.
Then I went to 2nd period. About halfway through the class, this dude looks at me and says, "You gay cuz?" I swear, you tell one fucking person...anyway I just gave him a blank stare and the question went away. But fuck, everyone at that school's a fucking expert now. Damn it all.
Anyway, 3rd period, there was some speech by Obama. He told us to stay in school. He's a better president than Bush was. So I half listened to the speech and drew dragons and minotaurs and bikers and shit in MS Paint. That minotaur I drew, it was fucking epic. When class was over, I kid you not, that thing was so epic it climbed out of the screen and murdered the entire class with its bloody axe. I ran like Sonic from Silver in 06. God, that game sucked.
So 4th period was boring. We had to go to the lecture room again. Ugh. Then lunch happened. I left and turned my MP3 player back on. I walked around and listened to it until 5th period. And when 5th period came around, I kept listening to it. I just walked in and sat down with the MP3 player on. The teacher didn't care. Twas epic.
So then I went to 6th, still listening to the MP3 player. I listened to that thing through the entire class. I passed this one chick, and she said something sarcastic about my MP3 player. So I did what any well-mannered, easy going person would do. I pulled out a bazooka and unloaded on her.
Then I went home and-...is he watching Big Brother? Who the hell watches Big Brother? Oh God...did he just say "bizzatch?" ...no. Just no. This show fucking sucks. God.

HOLY SHIT, THAT'S A LOT!!!!

[Snooky]

So we went to see Zombieland today. Twas epic. Best movie ever.
Besides Snatch.

Anyway was good. On the way back home, we argued over what our names were (in the movie the characters were named after cities). First I was Murfreesboro, then I decided to be Memphis. Sherrell (step-sister) was Marshall (even though that's a county), sister was Murfreesboro (she stole it >:U), mom was Nashville.

Also we rated each character based on appearance. By which I mean I did in the parking lot on the way back to the car. My sister, who does not know I'm bi, had a thoroughly confused look on her face. I win C: Wichitaw (or however you spell it) was hot, Tallahassee was hot, Colombus was alright, and Little Rock was 12. I'm no pedophile.


Oh, but you bastards want something completely epic and implausible, don't you?
OK, so we went to see Zombieland. And right at the climax, when they are fighting zombies at Pacific Playland (caution: you just read a spoiler), Tallahassee jumped out of the screen and shot Bob Marley (who was sitting behind me) in the face. He then raped me anally, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Thoroughly.